Scrub your butt!!! Seriously.

Between wondering what has happened to manners and seeing more butt crack than I would ever like, I am amazed…

Today is the beginning of my Fall Doctors appointments and testing. Every year about this time I begin the testing to monitor and scan for more aneurysms. It is a nerve wracking and sometimes emotional journey. Every time I prepare myself for the worst and hope for the best because I hate surprises!! I can handle all of the “what if’s” if I work it out in great detail in my mind! So today’s rant is brought to you from the waiting room in Kansas City!! Addie was good enough to come along so she is the recipient of today’s subjects!!

You can look around and see that self care and hygiene have left the building. It appears that climbing out of bed and staying in your pajamas is a perfectly fitting way to come to the doctor. What is wrong with me that when I get up I shower, wash my hair, style my hair, apply deodorant, apply make up, look for a nice outfit that is clean and apply several shots of perfume?? Oh maybe it’s because there are multiple steps involved in cleaning ones earth suit?? Today’s count is one in pajamas, smelling fresh (sarcasm), one in dirty athletic shorts and bed head, one in flannel (it’s hot out) and one in Capri pants. I can handle the Capri pants. The others? They stink. I feel sorry for the doctors and nurses who have to get close to them. Is it lazy? Lack of pride? Or are common sense cleaning rituals a thing of the past? When I was a kid we didn’t get to fly anywhere so the one time I can remember flying, my mom took extra care to get us all buffed up and we were instructed, quite emphatically, to use our “best”manners, no “jacking around”!!! Flying was a privilege and we knew it so we did what she asked. Today, I still think it’s a privilege and I am even cleaner than I was as a kid!!! Unfortunately 98% of the rest of the plane smells like some sick monkey cage. I can’t take it so I bury my face in my Thieves Oil necklace and never make eye contact. Ugh. Disgusting.

I also have a weakened immune system, so I am extra cautious about germs and sickness. Today isn’t helping me by sitting in said waiting room! There is a sign that clearly states “if you are coughing or contagious please wear a mask”. I had some extra paperwork to fill out so I head to the corner table and spray it with Thieves before I sit down. A corner is relatively safe!! Not today!! Another gross and snotty man walks through the door in his dirty shorts. I get that he feels bad, but damn. More human spew and crack than I should ever witness. I almost crawled out of my skin!! He sits behind me gagging, snorting, snotting, gulping, mouth breathing, coughing, and making me gag!!! Seriously!!! “Get the eff away from me!!!!” I’m too polite so I make faces at Addie and scream in my mind!!! He goes in before me so when I got back to see the Doc I made sure I wasn’t put in his room!! Ugh!!!

This isn’t new, and cleaning your butt doesn’t take much. Maybe if I were as rude to the dirty people as they are to me and my fatness I might get somewhere!! Probably not, so I will rant!!

Have a good day!! Smell good!!! Don’t choke on snot!!


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