So, I just posted a month-old blog that I forgot to post, and I realized how little I had been writing. Other things have been occupying my mind and time, and writing seems to have taken a back seat. The thoughts that rumble around are ever present but putting them down hasn’t happened. Today is your lucky day! Or not. You might want to quit now, just fair warning as I am not sure what might come out.

It has not escaped me that my dissociative mind has delved deep into a little white dog cartoon character, with whom I take marvelous adventures. Today’s adventure involved the Eye in London and loads of cotton candy that fly everywhere, making a horrible mess! The artwork has become an escape that, like most things I do, I find myself completely immersed in. I think about it all the time, looking for ideas and imagining what I want her to look like. When I do something I love it’s all or nothing. That includes how I love. All or nothing. Lately I find that the nothing is there. The all is reserved for the few.

It is not lost on me that the temperature in the world and our country is all over the place. Scared. Sad. Depressed. Life Altering. Unsure. Terrified. Angry. There really isn’t an emotion that hasn’t been tapped at some point. For me, all of it. I have many friends who are ready to move out. I have friends who want to stand and fight, and I have friends who are happy with the way things are going. Frankly, it all makes me sick. I have never liked any bully. I hate discourse and I don’t think that people in our country, the greatest country ever, should have to live in fear for any reason. It doesn’t matter how well I justify it in my own mind. That is the same thing as my parents and their entire generation raising us to not feel anything. “No one cares what you have to say. Get over it.” attitude. It doesn’t matter if it doesn’t affect me directly, I hurt when someone I love is hurting. I feel scared when someone I love is scared. I will comfort them, but I can’t change their feelings. I can only hold my space to allow them to feel what they feel. Let them feel. Let them gather. Support your friends even if you don’t agree. This will all be in the rearview mirror in 10 years. The shit I worried about 10 years ago is so far back, that I can’t and won’t recall it. That is the way life works. Is it worth it to you to hurt people?

I could write for years on the words that come out of people’s mouths in the name of Politics. I understand arguing and fighting for a cause, but there used to be a line. I won’t go into who and what crossed it and took down the lines of decorum, what caused it, the who did what at this point becomes moot because at some point someone has to say ENOUGH. I don’t see that happening, the only one I can change is me. It’s not for me. I am no shrinking flower; I am tired of bullshit. I am tired of hate. I am tired of turning on my computer to see so much AI content that you literally have to research every single headline from 45 different sources to even discern the half-truth of the shit we are fed. That’s the saddest part of all. That’s what people are fighting over. LIES. I can’t. So, I am sitting at my window painting and painting and writing and painting and dreaming and sending as much light into the Universe as I possibly can. Call me Polly Anna, call me stupid, call me weak, call me whatever you like, just don’t confuse my aversion to unkindness as ignorance. I am aware. As I said in my last post. If you need help, I am here for you. If you need me, ask. I stay out of the way. Oh… here is a good example. Mike was driving slow down our road in front of our house two days ago, because the wash boards are so bad and it’s a half mile, and some asshole from Ottawa Co, in a Gray Dodge Pickup went around him in the ditch and road and stopped in the middle of the road in front of him, got out of his pick up and started screaming at him “are you trying to kill me?” to which Mike answered, “No, I was driving slow because of the washboards with my granddaughter in here…” when the guy drilled him in the side of the head with a pistachio in the shell and stormed off. WTF. Don’t ever wonder why I don’t go out. All things go through turnings, including people. Society will drag through the ditches until they decide that it needs to come up for air. I will stay attached to the oxygen tank of love, kindness, truth and justice.

Polly Anna signing off.

Until then….try love, kindness, truth and justice.

E

I love you!