Christmas changes…

I can’t remember when Christmas time changed. I don’t remember when the anticipation and excitement about presents switched from priority to secondary. I don’t even know if presents even touch my radar this time of year. I do know that the celebration of Christmas is dramatically different for me now than it was when I was five! It has taken 45 years to dull the ribbons and bows. Now, the anticipation of my kids and spouses and one grandchild coming home is way more important to me than any present that anyone could ever give me! I look forward with happiness to our celebration of 4 p.m. church service with my entire family greeting people, seating people and serving. That is the the most important part of my Christmas memories. We are all together!

When I was small I looked forward to all of the family being together and opening presents after church on Christmas Eve. Now it is passed the point of being able to Fake it long enough to make it seem fun!! We have managed to have the same tradition for my family, but my eagerness isn’t based on gifts, but on “the gift” and family. This year was no different. As I go back to work today, I am shaken back to the reality that time passes more quickly than I would like and the smell of smoke from the fire and the sound of the kids all laughing vanishes when the embers glow their last futile gasp, definitely much faster than it came. I get more than melancholy as I come to grips with the idea that, just like me, the excitement of Christmas changes from being out of control with happiness and gifts to aging and observing, realizing that in a split second everything changed. I am not sad about the aging, or the changes, I am sad about the speed with which it comes and goes. Mike and I recently attended a Christmas party hosted by my daughter. It was beautiful and the food was fabulous and we were in bed by 11:45….. We are the old people at the party now. I used to throw one hell of a Christmas party! I made a bourbon slush that I wouldn’t drink, but I would watch people slurp it down! They only drank the delicious potion one time I think!!

New Year’s is going to be celebrated watching my dear friend get married. The wedding is at 4:00 pm and I am sure I will barely make midnight again! I don’t mind being the first one to crash, but it is so unlike me!! That’s the part that I have trouble coming to terms with. The excitement could be there, but the stamina isn’t!!