Queen of the eye rollers, that’s me! If fact, I roll them when I don’t even mean to! I used to think it was a habit, but I am fairly sure that it defines me!! It must have been genetically programmed into my children because they have the tendency too! I was once called into elementary school for my parental beat down for of my youngest daughter, Addie. They called me in because she was eye rolling during class, and I believe she was 6 or 7 at the time! I asked if she had failing grades or if she was disrupting the classroom? “Of course not!”, the teacher replied. “Well then is she showing you disrespect or is she saying unkind things?” I asked. “Well no!”, she replied. I rolled my eyes and asked why I was there?! Then they asked that I control her faces! Control her faces?? Seriously. I wanted to say, “don’t patronize her and treat her like she’s ignorant and she won’t eye roll!” Insert eye roll!! This was a deciding factor in changing schools!
I started thinking about the control that we want over our kids and it occurred to me that when my mom would tell me to stop making a face I always replied with “This is the face God gave me!”, and it is/was!! I just adjusted it to fit the mood or conversation! To ask a child, who isn’t causing any trouble to stop making a face is hilarious to me!! Maybe it’s my irreverent attitude to people who don’t really care about my child or their education or maybe it’s my only act of defiance and the one thing I can control! Or …. there is the high probability that I can’t control it!!
As the time quickly approaches for the last bird to leave the nest, I have experienced a few firsts with this last child! I have addressed the label that Addie was given in her first years at elementary school in another blog. To summarize, they told us that because she was a preemie that she would struggle forever in school and she needed special classes and not to expect her to progress very quickly! Fast forward to her graduating year and let me describe some of the firsts!! This kid is the first to be labeled as truant for leaving school or being absent all while taking college courses; many college courses. She’s the first of my children to be in National Honor Society while being truant!! She’s the first to receive a letter threatening her father and I with the Saline county attorney for said truancy! Now, we have called her in so many times that they asked me not to call anymore because she will NOT be excused, consequently on the Friday that I didn’t call the school office they gave her detention! I think I should add that she will be 19 on June 15th and anyone over 18 can not legally truant. I understand there are rules and regulations that apply to everyone and are actually in place for those who don’t know if their children attend school and I can assure you that not only did she attend, but had all necessary credits done at semester. She isn’t skipping school and leaving work unfinished, she finishes her work early and works on her college credits! Before school started last August I had gone to the powers that be requesting a semester graduation and was told that had I read the handbook I would have known that I had to apply a year in advance. They also stated that they didn’t want her missing out on her “Senior Experience”! I asked what that would be? They answered, “like prom and things like that.” I asked if they knew my daughter, and they only knew that she played tennis and had seen her in the halls. That is right, they didn’t know her because she isn’t in trouble, she isn’t failing and she doesn’t make much noise! I have to laugh here because in the 28 years I have been a parent I have joked that God didn’t give me a handbook!! I guess I just needed to ask the school!!
All three of my kids are completely different people, each with their own “isms” and quirks. The one thing they have is common is a very large sense of responsibility. They are all incredibly dependable, hard working people who know the importance of doing the work. Addie is very driven and wants to complete all of her work before the deadline. That is exactly why she will only need a couple more classes before she can apply for the program she is pursing in college. She has enough hours to enter college as a Junior so I tease her that her very truant ass has been busy!! I am looking forward to moving on with the next part of the journey. I am thankful that I won’t have to wonder if she’s attending class in college or completing the work, her past behavior tells me will have it done before class begins as soon as she gets the syllabus! This kid doesn’t waste time or money! I will rejoice on May 19th that this part of education is complete and she is moving on to making her goals a reality! I am thankful that I won’t have to be judged every time she was called out or treated like my kid is a loser when she had college classes to complete. That’s the problem with our system, zero individuality or compromise for those moving ahead a little faster or a little slower. The system tends to pigeon hole individuals who are different in any way, shape or form and for this non conformist, it has been a struggle!! I refer to me, as the non conformist!! I still preach “think outside the box! Don’t do like everyone else does and dance to your own drummer!” So much for the preemie who would be behind her entire life! Oh well! I also realize that the senior experience is different for everyone and for Addie it has been drudgery not much else! I am proud of her and her ability to keep moving in the mud!! Go little bird, fly high and far! You have done amazing work!! I love you!