When I am working my ”real job” and the connection goes out, it gives me a chance to pester my readers with another blog!!
Today began like most. It’s a well known fact that I don’t sleep well, so I tend to sleep with my dad’s t shirt wrapped around my head and eyes to block the light from the fan that points on me and radiates an annoying bright blue light! I think it was 3 a.m. at my last clock check and Mike got up and was gone before 7. Naturally I hear him shower, get dressed and I can always smell his cologne linger after he leaves. I would imagine that seeing me in my black turbin causes him to run out!! I woke again to a text from my son telling me Happy Anniversary and that he loves me! I was so happy to remember everything about that day!
Twenty nine years ago I was 23 years old and it was 108 degrees in Western Kansas and I just had to have an outdoor wedding! It was small, hot and I can picture everyone there! Mike was in the middle of wheat harvest so he came to my folks house to clean up straight from the field! My hair wouldn’t do anything I wanted, I was sweating and nervous and it was a known fact that his family was less than thrilled that he was marrying me. The entire town either thought I was pregnant or that it would never last….isn’t that a wonderful way to talk about two people who were in love? That type of gossip changed my life and I have never since put bets on whether a relationship will survive or not. It’s not right. I have never forgotten who the nay sayers were just as I have never forgotten the comments and hurtful words people were so happy to repeat to me in case there was a chance I hadn’t heard them. I knew that who I was marrying was the one for me and even if there was a chance that we wouldn’t make it, those people would be the last to know!!
My Momma made my beautiful dress and when Dad walked me out from around the hedge he said, “Darlin’, you can still run!” He adored Mike Harvey. He just loved me more!! Maybe it was the fact that no guy is ever going to be good enough for a Daddy to approve, maybe it was that he knew that the trials of this life make staying married very difficult, maybe he knew that it would take everything we had to stand together for the battles we would face….either way, I was warned! The bagpiper played “Scotland the Brave”, the sun beat down harder and before I knew it I was legally wed to this handsome man! There are very few pictures of our wedding because our photographer got drunk and left the film in the hot car! We had a boomer party and from what I recall everyone there had a bomb or was bombed!! It wasn’t long and our journey took the road less traveled and our lives changed in ways we couldn’t imagine. Before I knew it I had 3 children and life flew past at warp speed.
I woke this morning like every morning, groaning, trying to find my glasses, taking my medicine so I don’t explode, and wondering how did I get here?. I cried because 29 years have flown by and now we are the old people. I want the do overs. I want to take back the mean words I said in anger. I want to parent differently. I want us to feel good. I want to scream at the nay sayers. I want to take back the time we wasted on those who really didn’t love us. I want to use that time to give it back to each other instead of wasting it. I want 100 more years together. I want him to always know how proud I am of him. I want him to know that beat down doesn’t mean that we still don’t rise. I want to show my kids that love wins, because we are living proof that love won.
I am thankful for this life. The good and the bad. I am thankful for the people who remained and have loved us all these years. I am even more thankful for those who took themselves out of our lives by jealousy, betrayal or anger without forgiveness. Thank you. I am only sorry it took us so long to see it! I am thankful that our hearts have remained open and loving and that we have remained each others best friend. I am thankful for today and the days that we have left together. I pray that I get 100 more years…today I celebrate 29 sitting in the office next to his, just as I always have. We are a team. Who knows what tomorrow brings, I only know that I don’t want to find out with anyone else. WE got this.
Until then….love the one you’re with
In 2014 we renewed our vows at year 24 and I couldn’t have been happier to share that day with my folks and most of all our kids. It was our way of saying, “I would make the next years even better!” I got to see my Mom and Dad dance for the last time and I am so thankful!