I Quit

I need to write. It’s 11:02pm and like many of you, my brain won’t shut off. Tonight’s topic brought to you by Covid 19. The gift that keeps on giving. We used to say that about herpes, now herpes is the last thing I think about!! Lol!

I am tired a lot. You all know this and today I find myself tired of listening. The breaking news stories aren’t breaking, they are continual. I hear the incessant news stories calling out the numbers and statistics, counties where there are infected people, states that have become overwhelmed with new cases and on and on and on. Don’t get it twisted, I’m not being flippant about the severity of this shit, but I have made a decision. I am not watching the news. I am not reading the blurbs on Facebook because for the last week I have been educated and inundated with more information than I can process and I don’t know how much they truly know! I am washing hands, sanitizing and keeping a large space between us and doing most all suggestions by the WHO but I have drawn a line. I am not wiping down cardboard nor am I going to freak out about a box or packaging. Look. I can’t control every single particle in my life. I can’t mentally live in fear and darkness every day. In 10 days time since return from Cabo I have been robbed of every bit of joy that I found in our get away. It became the Corona vaca and it turned into mania from the moment my feet hit the ground and I allowed it the eat my light. I am not sure what will happen in this world. I can’t control anyone except myself and I can’t keep being so upset. I am a Christian and death is a common theme in my spiritual journey as a Lutheran. We talk about death a lot! While I don’t particularly want to check out, I am at peace if I do. In the meantime I have to continue to live and do it with as much joy as I can muster all while trying to avoid this illness. It’s hard!! It’s hard to stay joyful in the better days, much less now.

I am switching it up. I am focusing on the things that make me happy. For me it’s kids, grands, dogs, sunshine, tanning (no lecture necessary) laughter, more kids, no news, clean hands and thieves spray. You gotta do you, so do what works for you. Don’t judge me for the way I have to get through and I won’t judge you. Be kind, be patient, be present, be joyful. Be well. This life is temporary. The troubles in this life don’t last forever though they seem to. The same goes for your happiness; it comes in waves and quick blasts or maybe short blips easily robbed by darkness or grasshoppers. Decide which thought feels the best and hang on to it. It changes every single vibration in your body. Do it for you and the ones who love you.

Stay well. Stay as well as you can. Wash hands after you open the box. My Dr friend says “Don’t pick your nose!” That was the best advice I heard.

Until then. Goodbye news channels. Good by ticker at the bottom of the screen. Hello paint can. Hello brush. Hello roller. Hello sunshine.


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