I’ve been thinking, again. I have been watching and waiting and hoping, again. I have given a lot of thought to the friendships in my life and I have come up with the differences in “friendships of old and friendships of Facebook”. This is a horrible time in our history in my opinion. I have seen anger and hate, rudeness and judgement, hostility and sadness, and every emotion in between poured out on the screen like syrup, sticking to people like glue and words that can never be unheard because they have permeated our very hearts. I feel anxious. I feel sad. I feel alone. I feel helpless. I feel anger. I feel lost.
Years ago I made friends with people who I would normally have nothing in common with! Oh the irony of growing up and being exposed to many magnificent people!! I went to college and met some of the most amazing people in my life to this day! We all came from different backgrounds, different cultures, different political parties, different parts of the world! We had a blast and we were friends in spite of our differences! Late night study sessions, midnight runs to Quick Trip, beer, beer, drinks, shots, beer, parties, studying, laughing, stealing Connie’s moped, classes, studying and love! I learned so much from each of them and considered it a privilege to learn so that I wasn’t a narrow minded white girl from Western Kansas and could see how the rest of the world lives! I had never been exposed to so many different cultures, and I had never been around people who were different than me!! I found friendship when I really wasn’t looking. Over the years I have been blessed to retain these friendships and 90% of that comes from RESPECT. We all have differing opinions about many subjects and yet, we are able to discuss if we choose, or stay out of it if we choose and come back together with love and respect. Tim and Kevin go at it quite regularly and still have a friendship that isn’t based on their differences! We know how each other feels and we don’t feel the need to rub it in by making posts that we know might hurt each other on a regular basis. We would never think of saying it to each other’s faces unless it was to spark a debate that we could grow from, so why would we post it for the world? I understand the need for memes. Some find great humor in them, some say what we feel in a way that makes sense, but to continually post about one or two subjects gets really old. I take pride in the fact that I am a pretty fast learner! I get it the first time that you oppose the way the Governor has handled the virus pandemic. I don’t need to see 4,000 other posts relating to the subject. I get that you don’t like masks. Who does?? No opinion was ever changed from a Facebook post in my world. It shows me more about the person and more about the apathy that people have toward people who suffer differently than you. There is no discussion until the subject is broached for the 100th time and by then I am taking it personally.
I joined Facebook 12 years ago to watch my kids!! In the meantime, I reconnected with many of my old friends and we have been able to keep up with our growing families, divorces, marriages, moves, and yet we all pick up where we left off. It is a comforting feeling to know that I can still connect and rely on the people that I formed true friendships with! That is the reason that I still look at my page! I don’t enjoy the hate, the politics, the continual bitching that has inundated our feeds. I got to the point that if it didn’t bring me peace, I unfriended. I had to. It doesn’t mean that I don’t like those particular people, it just means that I can’t watch their negative posts day in and day out and still maintain the amount of respect that I want to maintain towards them. Respect is earned by both parties. Those memes and headlines, well, they upset me, they frustrate me and they make me question my worth in their lives. By that I mean, are your memes really a good depiction of your inner being do you feel that in the depths of your heart? Do you really believe the headlines you post? Do you find that the memes you post are reflective of your inner being? If you answer yes, then good on you. If you question it, don’t post it. If you and I are that much apart and there is no moral ground we share, then I have to say good bye. I am a Polly Anna who wants to believe that there is no one who deliberately hurts others, so this is a foreign feeling. I am on here for peace, friendship and love; not to be swayed by your decisions or beliefs posted on Facebook. I do my very best to keep mine to myself on social media, especially if I think that my words might hurt you in some way. I am always up for a good, healthy, respectful debate, but those must take place in person, not over a keyboard. That reasoning should be self explanatory.
During this time of unrest, I would not only ask, but beg, you to think before you put a generalized negative, nasty post on your wall. Some will read it and immediately believe that it was geared toward them. Especially when there is no explanation, just your rant. We are all at different stages in this difficult journey. Some of you haven’t gotten to the point of feeling hopeless or helpless, but for the thousands of us worried every day about things like whether or not we will still have healthcare in the next few months, or those of us who have depression or anxiety, we feel it deeper on so many levels and we are already questioning ourselves everyday. This stuff exacerbates it. Thankfully many of you don’t suffer from long term illness or pain, so I can understand why you unthinkingly post memes, or copy and paste other people’s opinions, and don’t think about the repercussions or the fallout. Fallout isn’t necessarily something you plan on, but then again, hurt feelings and anxiety are immeasurable during times like these. Words are powerful. They have a value. May you take the time to make sure that your words help lift the people of this country rather than stirring the shit pot. Licking the spoon is no good.
My best to you all. ALWAYS