Fred Flintstone was one of my childhood heroes. As a child, I spent a lot of time alone. I loved the wackiness of Bedrock and Fred was endearing although he was a bit simple. I suppose I could relate to his scatter brained ideas and his mispronunciation of phrases and words. Maybe I could see how people looked at him in one way, and I could see the depth of Fred’s insecurities? For those of us who grew up with Fred, maybe you don’t see him as a multi dimensional character, but I do. I always wondered how Wilma could be such a stick in the mud as Fred slid down the stegosaurus tail?!! Whatever the case, you may wonder why I chose the title for this blog; it is in honor of Fred. In one episode someone said, “Hasta manana, Fred” to which he tipped his hat and replied “And a hasty banana to you!”
In 40 plus years I have never heard “hasta manana” but what I don’t say “and a hasty banana to you” in my head and often out loud! I still laugh when I say it!! So, I thank Fred for my odd sense of humor and the ability to escape to Bedrock when things became too much to handle. Unfortunately now, there is no Bedrock and I find that escaping doesn’t work particularly well either. 50 years later I find myself working on opening neural pathways so that I don’t disassociate and can find my joy easier! This is a tough thing to do! However, I am committed to a healthier brain.
I have conquered most of the trauma that I have walked through. If it isn’t conquered, it is finally becoming more manageable and I find that I am much more peaceful. I am in the final stages of brain repair and I am making serious steps at healing deep wounds. I am not insane but more aware about my own needs and not afraid to make serious decisions to give my soul the peace it has deserved my entire life. No more am I the people pleaser, ignoring my own needs so as not to upset anyone, woman. I have come to realize that I am so much more than a Physical being having a spiritual/soul journey. In fact, I am not any of that. I am a SOUL having a physical journey. While this year has proven to be another difficult one in this defective earth suit, I am somehow comforted by the fact that this earth suit isn’t the voice in my soul! Any more, I don’t even want to talk about it, or think about it, or hear about, or hear “I don’t know what’s taking so long, my great Aunt Betty, six times removed, got her hip fixed right away!” Well, Fran, it’s none of your business….and a hasty banana to you!
While I have all kinds of topics on my mind that I would love to share, I have stopped myself and silenced many of the tougher things I would like to discuss. Those discussions make people feel uncomfortable and in that comes judgement, so that will be for another day! The truth is something that no one really wants to hear in today’s world! The imaginary world is so much nicer!!
I haven’t been writing much and frankly I haven’t been talking much! I’m good with that. I am so grateful for this life… even the ugly parts. This soul journey is one only I can take. Moreover, it’s the only one I get. I’m just sorry I wasted so much time giving energy to the unimportant parts. I am sorry that I didn’t see people clearly and that my ability to disassociate clouded the truth about people for most of my life. I escaped. There is a huge freedom in realizing that I am the only one responsible for my happiness and change. You, and only you, are responsible for yours! Do not blame anyone else for your situations or choices. You have your own journey. Stay in your lane.
So today I will give you a quick Hasty Banana and say thank you! Thank you for checking in on me, thank you for the cards, thank you for reading, thanks for the calls….thank you for being here.
Short bit of gratitude. Thank you God for clarity and peace.