Goodbye 202-1

The cold is creeping in and after a 70 degree Christmas, I suppose it’s time. What better way to end/begin a year with an Arctic blast of -27 F?! The cold may just freeze me in my tracks but the “cold” can’t stop my progress!!

Before I delve into this blog, I want to put this image out there. Our lives are like movies. Some people only see the poster and judge whether or not they will like it by the 15 seconds they looked at it. Others watch the 2 minute trailer and decide whether to engage or not. Some get a ticket and go to the movie and get up and walk out. Then there are those who stay to the very end and watch the credits. Before you judge another person’s journey or judge my journey, think about how long you’ve have seen the movie. Did you attend daily? Did you go get some popcorn and dart out? Have you not seen it in 20 years? Whatever it is… reflect before you give it a rating!!

To those who have stayed to the end, thank you!!

January ‘21 I took a very brave and scary step back into self reflection self love, self healing and therapy. Every week I have worked to reclaim the lost parts of my soul and finally all of the broken pieces are beginning to heal! I rejoice at the 12 month journey to freedom and I truly wish others would find the value in perspective and truth! Hallelujah! I am not finished and hopefully will never be finished growing and learning! I ask you to please not point your finger at me with “I knew she was crazy “ until you take a good, long, truthful look into your own life!

This year has been painful. Very painful. Harsh realities have been unearthed and I am learning to accept all of the things that I am unable to change. It is a daily challenge to use the tools I have learned and to sort out what parts of my life were only great because I chose to remember them that way and what really exists. I am woke! A few things that I have learned in no particular order are as follows: I accept that I can not will others to love me no matter how badly I crave that love. I accept that the change can only come from recognizing it, naming it, and facing it head on. I accept the truth, that the journey of my life is about no one but myself. I accept that there are people who, no matter what, will always be driven by materialism and greed. I can not change that. I can accept it and draw super tight boundaries that are really healthy, but I can’t change it. I accept that my journey is my own and I don’t expect you to stay if it doesn’t feel right to you! That’s growth. That’s ok because the road curves and changes! I accept aging and disease for what it is and I appreciate the strength and healing my body has done. I am learning to accept that asking for help or a wheelchair is not the end of my life, but rather, it allows me to be where my family is able to go! If people stare and shame me, then that is something wrong within them. Compassion isn’t in everyone. I accept that. (Doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt) I am able to see others with a different lens and recognize that everyone suffers from pain and trauma. Some people it completely hardens to the point of such hatefulness that they can’t/won’t control their anger or their mean mouths. They are so internally damaged that they find great satisfaction in hurting others to the core and kicking people when they are down. I have seen it and I have left it. That’s healthy! I see some who, through their trauma, still choose love and kindness (you are my people). Those are the people who will walk with you and hold your hand when you are afraid. Those are the people who daily remind you that love is a choice—make it. Those are my people. They are my clan. Those people who believe in growth, forgiveness, change, doing more, loving and learning. Those are my favorites!! Those who reach out with a helping hand up, not the people who spew gossip and jealousy, hate and discontent. That’s on them!! When you can get to the place that negative behavior doesn’t change who you are, who God says you are; then you’ve won. You are running your own race. Do not compare it yo anyone else. Ever. You are own your own path!! The old saying “You come into this world alone and you die alone”, that is a FACT!!

I received some solid, sage advice from my Aunt before her death. “Learn something new every day. Don’t ever stop learning.” Sounds really simple but in the context of our conversation I knew what she meant. She did her best to learn and change and ask for the forgiveness. Asking for forgiveness when you are are vulnerable is courageous. I want to be that! She also said “the truth is powerful. Never be afraid of it get it out there, talk about it.” The truth is powerful. Your truth is powerful. Your perception of your truth is powerful. Validation of your truth may never come because it makes people fearful. That is OK!! You are the one to learn to be the keeper of your soul. When it hurts, hold it. When it sings, rejoice. When it cries, let it. When it breaks, get the first aid kit. For me, my soul is free. God took care of that.

May this upcoming year be one for you to explore your freedom and truth. Find what heals you. Free yourself. Find the things that make your soul sing. Get help! It isn’t shameful. It isn’t weakness. It isn’t crazy to talk to someone! Shameful and crazy is never recognizing that you aren’t the very best version of yourself and doing nothing about it!! Go ahead! Intimidate those who refuse to change! That makes them crazy with anger! Your proof of survival and healing is to live a fulfilled life of happiness and love without the need to extol revenge on those who don’t get it! That’s powerful truth! Thats God’s truth. Thats your connection to source. Move the energy in the right direction, leaving behind things that no longer serve you!

Happy New Year and bring on the best of 2022! “Life is a garden, dig it!”

All of the very best to you!

E

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