Christmas changes…

I can’t remember when Christmas time changed. I don’t remember when the anticipation and excitement about presents switched from priority to secondary. I don’t even know if presents even touch my radar this time of year. I do know that the celebration of Christmas is dramatically different for me now than it was when I […]

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Today

My goal this year was to rejoice on the 22nd and not to spend the day in sadness. Tomorrow it is the 4th year of my dad’s passing. I thought I would get up, dress up, go to a memorial for our friend we lost Wednesday and spend the rest of my day thinking about […]

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How Do You Get Through?

I am changed. I know this and I have been told this several times. I am not even close to the same person that I was in May 2016. I got sick and everything changed. The cool thing about this disease is that most days I don’t look sick! It makes people think that I […]

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Life is poetry…

……There lies the port: the vessel puffs her sail: There gloom the dark broad seas. My mariners, Souls that have toiled, and wrought, and thought with me – That ever with a frolic welcome took The thunder and the sunshine, and opposed Free hearts, free foreheads – you and I are old; Old age hath […]

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Heart Repair at Christmas

Recently I have had many friends that have required heart surgery to repair various issues.  It rattled some thoughts in my head and I realized that I never seem to think of all of the mechanisms at work that keep my heart pumping.  Beside the obvious and magnificent elements that created such a perfect organ […]

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Giving is easier than receiving…. it is

Taking compliments is very difficult for me. I have no trouble giving compliments but for some reason I struggle accepting them. Last night during a class I’m taking we had to share an affirmation about every person in the class and in turn they say something positive to you. I have had my affirmations written […]

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December 5th

I have been very open about my journey with depression and grief. I have answered all of the questions anyone has asked and I have tried to advocate for the “humane treatment” for depression!   I have found that most often “pulling yourself up by the bootstraps” doesn’t work for clinical depression.  Believe me,  I’ve tried […]

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Aging, why did I used to cry??

I remember distinctly when my dad’s best friend John turned 60. (I have written about him before) I cried and cried thinking that it was so old and I thought of all of the cruddy things about aging and how horrible it must be and how life was going to be over shortly!!   I wove […]

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Harassment

Harassment sometimes pronounced “Harris-ment” comes in all forms.  Today the phone rings at least seven times at work only to hear “HELLO, DON’T HANG UP.  YOUR GOOGLE ACCOUNT IS IN JEOPARDY.”  So, I don’t hang up.  I wait, wait, wait, “Please remove my number from your list please” I say.  “Since you asked to be […]

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Life in the Heartland….

I have lived in the Heartland most of my life.  I was born in the desert of Western Kansas and later moved to the Oklahoma/Kansas border.  After I got married I moved to South Central Nebraska for 15 years and in 2005, back to the center of Kansas.  While you will hear me often complain […]

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